The Sexual Freedom Project: Discussing Polyamory

Polyamory, loving more than one partner, is finally getting the exposure it needs in the media and elsewhere. These are natural relationships based on shared values and deserve just as much respect as any other relationship. This may not be your cup of tea but that doesn’t mean you are incapable of recognizing and respecting relationships that are different from your own.

Consider this: monogamy, and the rigid jealousy with which it is partnered, has long been the cause of so many broken families, needlessly, because of a general misunderstanding of what fidelity is all about. It’s not about “cheating” because whom are you cheating on, yourself or your objecting partner? Most people don’t stray because they are afraid, their desire for safety and stability trumping their true desires.

Fidelity is about reciprocal loyalty, and as long as that is in place, everyone, whether married or not, should be free to experience their sexuality as they wish, without canceling out their fidelity to their committed partner or to their new committed partners. This expression of fidelity, giving your partner the freedom to express their desires however they choose, actually strengthens all relationships to the extent they are open and honest. Fidelity by definition accepts the notion that fidelity can exist within a multitude of relationships, sexual or not.

Cutting off your sexuality just because you are in a committed relationship doesn’t add up for those who wish to expand their sexual horizons. This is not to say that polyamory doesn’t come with many challenges, but they always lead to self-understanding, mutual understanding, and, ultimately, self-mastery.

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