November 2012

International Transgender Day of Remembrance in DC

This month’s official DC Transgender Day of Remembrance honors all of those who have died in the strucggle for equality, and their families, as activists rededicate themselves to help answer today’s community concerns.

Celebrated internationally, the Transgender Day of Remembrance in DC will take place at 6 PM, Tuesday, November 20, 2012, at the DC Metropolitan Community Church, 474 Ridge Street NW (just north of M Street, near the Green and Yellow Mount Vernon Square Metro Station), and organizers hope the public will attend.

Earline Budd, Executive Director of Transgender Health Empowerment (THE), and Day of Remembrance planning group member, notes, “Each year this event proves to be better and better, and more empowering for the community.”

Ms. Budd is happy to report, “Also this year, just a few days before the DC Transgender Day of Remembrance, Whitman-Walker Health, Casa Ruby DC, DC Trans Coalition (DCTC) , and THE are co-hosting a community conversation on improving transgender health,” at 7 PM on Thursday, November 15, also at the DC Metropolitan Community Church. Presentations by health providers, advocates, and public policy experts will focus on the significant challenges Transgender individuals have in accessing culturally competent health care, including primary medical care, HIV/AIDS care, mental health care, and addiction services.

 

 

Want Teens to Have Positive Sexual Health? Sex-Positivity Can Help With That

“Informed teens are much more likely to wait for first intercourse, use condoms and other barrier and birth control methods at first intercourse, and are more likely to take responsibility regarding their own sexual health.” Emily E. Prior

But not just any information given to teens will produce such a result. For decades, sex education programming in schools across America have used an agenda of fear tactics to teach teens that sex is bad, sexual pleasure is sin, and homosexuality is a mental illness. It’s time that Americans realize this approach of scaring teens from having sex doesn’t work: 46.8% of high school students report having engaged in sexual intercourse, with the rate increasing to 63.1% for high school seniors.

Using fear tactics in sex education is like hanging on the edge of a cliff: a person doesn’t have to be forced on to the edge to experience fear to know how dangerous it is. Similarly, if teachers taught comprehensive sex education using open, honest communication, then students will stay away from the cliff’s edge and practice safe sex.

So if you can’t scare teens from having sex, what else can we do?

The exact opposite of what doesn’t work: educate teens using sex-positive approaches. Wilhelm Reich (1897-1957) created the concept of sex-positive and sex-negative when he hypothesized that some societies view sexual expression as essentially good and healthy, while other societies take an overall negative view of sexuality and seek to repress and control the sex drive. Does the later ring a bell?

Emily E. Prior, the Director of the Center for Positive Sexuality, describes being sex-positive as “not limiting sexual scripts to reproduction and procreative-only sex, but also the pleasurable, rewarding, and nonprocreative aspects of sexuality.” However, Prior warns that this does not mean educators should start “promoting” sex, but rather, “recognizing sexuality as a normal, healthy part of being a person and that everyone is a sexual being.” But this is not a new concept: just check out the Dutch.

So how can educators utilize sex-positivity in the classroom? Prior has a tip.

First, educators can create a sex-positive classroom space: “A sex-positive space,” Prior begins, “is an open and accepting space where [students] can feel comfortable to be themselves, communicate with one another, and be accepting, not just tolerant, of others’ differences related to sexuality and sexual behavior.” This means that students who identify with the lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, and questioning (LGBTQ)  community will not be excluded or stigmatized, which typically happens in a sex-negative space. Also, as Prior eloquently puts it, a sex-positive approach “allows teens to recognize their personal and sexual development as an ongoing, lifelong, and healthy process. By allowing for communication and individual expression, teens are much more likely to make healthy choices that work for their bodies.” 

The differences between a sex-positive approach to sex and the sex-negative approach to sex, with the former reflected in comprehensive sex education and the later used in abstinence-only education.

Sounds great to me! And it should sound great to everyone who wants to help teens become sexually responsible and reduce America’s high rates of unintended teen pregnancies and transmission of STIs and HIV–and who doesn’t? Let’s face it: teens are going to have sex no matter if we try to scare them or not, so we might as well suck it up and give them the information and tools they need to be safe once they decide to have sex, be it during high school or after marriage.

Creative Commons Image by: epSos.de
Creative Commons Original Image by: bluekdesign
Imaged Edited by: Alifa Watkins

Voting while trans and the problems you might face

New voter ID laws have created costly barriers to voting for many trans people. And much worse, the debate about voter ID laws have made even the idea of voting harder. so many of us may feel discouraged from even trying to vote on election day, according to National Center for Trans Equality Executive Director Mara Keisling. “Our message is don’t let them scare you into giving up your vote.”

I know that this is  tough to face. Honestly, who wants to walk into a voting site as a trans person and present an ID that doesn’t completely match up with your physical identity? This seems like reliving many of the past identity issues we’ve faced at some point and have had to really fight hard to overcome. The thing is, we survived it. It did not break us, so don’t let the fear of reliving these emotions stop us from doing the most important thing this country needs us to do at this time: VOTE!

Voter ID laws are dangerous. State legislatures have enacted them attempting to solve a fake problem. And as a result, transgender people–students, veterans, low-income people of color, and older Americans–risk being denied ballots this year. Can you believe this? If we dont stand up and do all that we can, I see this problem getting bigger and bigger.  So the first step is voting. Do all that you can and vote. This is our country, too, and we do have a voice.

Trans Women Need Love, Too . . . Don’t They?

(También en español)

WE ARE NOT SEXUAL OBJECTS!

WE ARE NOT YOUR  FANTASY COME TRUE FOR ONE NIGHT WITH NO EMOTION….

Don’t we have hearts?  Aren’t we human?  Don’t we deserve love?

As a transgender woman I know how this feels. I was born in the wrong body, Dammit! It’s not my fault.  The best choice I made in life was to change my gender. To become one with the person who I identify with inside. I never considered that it would be a life of emptiness and loneliness. But the question remains, why? Why is it so hard to be loved and appreciated for the woman that I am?

I met a guy a month ago, he told me all the right things. He looked into my eyes and hypnotized me as he spoke so confidently and dominantly, I mean, this man had it going on. Damn he was fine! Tall, dark, handsome, and athletic. On the third date he said, “you’re beautiful, I would love to take the next step with you. “My heart started jumping. The feeling of being wanted always does something to me, sort of the equivalent of an orgasm. After dating this guy a few times I thought for sure he was into me so I saw no problem with taking  the “next step.” I mean, I wanted it, too. And it was amazing! A night full of passion and romance.

I knew for sure he was the one, the way he looked into my eyes as he made love to me, the passion of his kisses as he mesmerized me. I knew for sure this had to be real….NOPE!  it just wasn’t so… it was almost as if he was a robot and the human switch had been turned off. When he was done, it was over. No more eye contact or communication. I thought to myself, how can this be? Didn’t he experience the same amazing thing I did?  As I lay there in  bed, I watch him get dressed without saying a word, my body filled with ecstasy, but my heart with pain. I knew I’d never see him again. A feeling that comes often after taking the “next step.” Why so?  Aren’t I human? Don’t I deserve love?

I find that this is where the feelings of emptiness and loneliness come from. We tend to blame ourselves at this point and feel like something’s wrong with us. That is simply not true. We are worthy and if a man doesn’t see that in you, be strong! Keep moving and know your worth because you are beautiful and once you own that you’ll be well on you way.

So yes, we deserve love and every other part of life that this world has for us. Through this journey I will be exploring some of the deepest, darkest well-kept secrets of the  trans community with you. So come along as I shed light on these things and help encourage one another for the better.