MSNBC’s Toure: Can a man be a feminist, too?

We were so happy to hear Toure, one of the anchors of MSNBC’s The Cycle, talk about a favorite topic of ours: men can and should ascribe to feminism.

The battle for any identity group’s liberation cannot and should not proceed solely with members of that group, and it never does.

MSNBC’s Toure, on The Cycle
(video below)

Not only is feminism the most modern expression of progressivism, men’s direct involvement is crucial to its continued success in setting aside old, useless, coercive, and harmful systems imposed on society in favor of preserving that which is old and also good, and melding that with new, more humane and voluntary associations. You can read more about the process of true progress in our Manifesto for a New Age of Sexual Freedom.

Toure echoes several feminist memes we wrote about a couple of weeks ago, including our promotion of Zaron Burnett’s’ wonderful essay, A Gentlemen’s Guide to Rape Culture, a piece of work that is both fun to read and highly instructional, a must read for every man, young or old.

I came of age with the birth of modern feminism over 50 years ago. The men I chose to surround myself with, in college and since, were all feminists, ascribing to this renewed vision of how to make the world a better place. We had words to describe men who fought feminism, degraded or ignored it. Luddites, Knuckle-draggers, Unenlightened, and, oh yeah, just Stupid. Because, as Toure has reinforced, the oppression of some contributes to the oppression of many.

As a post-script here, I would feel remiss in not differentiating true feminism from its mangled 1980s radical feminism. The word mangled is appropriate because of this splintering wave’s angry misdirection in rejecting men, and in particular trans women (and trans men). The very idea of non-inclusive feminism is intellectually self-contradictory, regressive (and decidedly not radical) and has contributed nothing but weakening feminism by confusing its underlying principles. Again, the word Luddite comes to mind.

So young women, study feminism’s history to help you understand why it enfranchises all women, all men, all trans people, and everyone in between.

Voluntary sex work is destined to evolve into a legitimate Sexual Healing Industry

Jamie Raskin, law professor and Maryland State Senator, is trying in vain to explain to the luddites in Congress why free speech shouldn’t cover things like bribery to politicians, recently okayed by the US Supreme Court in several rulings. He wisely invokes prostitution to get their attention, to show the context of free speech, but it’s just used as a expositional device.

But let’s take his point in another direction. The legalization or decriminalization of prostitution is a campaign VenusPlusX and other civil rights organizations have long-championed because it is a necessary and often vital part of life and there are many reasons why it hasn’t gone away on its own, it will not go away, and it’s ready for real reform so that it constitutionality can be protected as vigorously as any other human right.

The desire for love, for touch, for compassion, and for companionship and the improvement of physical health doesn’t have and shouldn’t have any boundaries or interference by governments or religions because our erotic senses are foundational to our connection with others and the cosmic technology around us.

Crime, sex trafficking, and financial exploitation accompany sex work only because it has always been criminalized.

If money paid to a sex worker (or a casual dinner and a movie with a new boyfriend) leads to sexual activity, why should this warrant any interference at all. The dinners, movies, jewelry, etc., accepted by girlfriends and wives is the very same thing as the commercial transaction made by a sex worker.

So, let’s consider a new model: A Sexual Healing Industry.

Note that this industry and network of professionals already exists. Highly skilled masseurs have become well known by word of mouth, as empaths who can safely shepherd you towards greater understanding of yourself and your body. They see you in well suited surroundings although right now they don’t explicitly advertise themselves as sexual healers. Why shouldn’t every sex worker who is involved in commercializing their skill on a voluntary basis be able to put out a shingle in a safe environment?

“Oh, by the way, I am going out to my yoga class and I have an appointment with my sexual healer after that so I’ll see you for dinner around 6.” Why not? This is the future, get ready for it.

Let us know what you think by commenting here or contact us at columbia@venusplusx.org.

in Campaigns / Key Issues / News of Note / Op-Ed / Public Information / Sex Education / Transhuman Erotic Freedom by Alison Gardner 04 Jun 2014 0 comments

Best Essay Explains Misogyny and Rape Culture in a Way that Men Can Understand

A Gentleman’s Guide to Rape Culture

We are so grateful to author and actor Zaron Burnett (@zaron3) and Medium (@medium) for bringing his essay that puts misogyny and rape culture in a feminist perspective. It is a must-read for every young (and old) man, women too. It continues the important conversation that has finally (and thankfully) been thrust onto the front burner due to recent events.

Within just a few paragraphs like this one, Zaron transported me back over 40 years ago when these ideas were rightly assumed by the many men who identified as feminists, the most authentic males in my orbit, including my dear partner and husband, Dan Massey, who went on to higher shores recently. These guys, straight, gay, bisexual, and trans, that were with us from the beginning were the most beautiful creatures to us: Behold, The Man!

When I cross a parking lot at night and see a woman ahead of me, I do whatever I feel is appropriate to make her aware of me so that a) I don’t startle her b) she has time to make herself feel safe/comfortable and c) if it’s possible, I can approach in a way that’s clearly friendly, in order to let her know I’m not a threat. I do this because I’m a man.

This is how men behaved in the early feminist movement, it was about being good men, authentic men, giving comfort and safety to the other half of the population while supporting a movement that explicitly stands for political and social justice. Male feminists wanted (and should want to adopt) this perspective because it replaced the awful predatory, conquering control of women they were taught at their parents’ knee and saw among their male peers. Very unfortunately, as feminism aged and stays lodged in radical feminism which express their hatred of men particularly transwomen, it has failed to keep alive the idea that feminism isn’t just for women.

It was always intentionally co-ed and had to do with your perspective on the world and how you wanted to make it better, how you wanted to destroy coercive systems, such as reproduction legislation, preserve good things about the world, such as hospice started in the 11th century, and create new, more human and voluntary systems, such as abortions that are private between a woman, her doctor, and her family. Feminist issues have no gender boundaries.

Zaron continues .. .

Flickr/Creative Commons

If you are a man, you are part of rape culture. I know … that sounds rough. You’re not a rapist, necessarily. But you do perpetuate the attitudes and behaviors commonly referred to as rape culture.

You may be thinking, “Now, hold up, Zaron! You don’t know me, homey! I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let you say I’m some sorta fan of rape. That’s not me, man!”

I totally know how you feel. That was pretty much exactly my response when someone told me I was a part of rape culture. It sounds horrible. But just imagine moving through the world, always afraid you could be raped. That’s even worse! Rape culture sucks for everyone involved. But don’t get hung up on the terminology. Don’t concentrate on the words that offend you and ignore what they’re pointing to — the words “rape culture” aren’t the problem. The reality they describe is the problem.

Men are the primary agents and sustainers of rape culture.

Rape isn’t exclusively committed by men. Women aren’t the only victims — men rape men, women rape men — but what makes rape a men’s problem, our problem, is the fact that men commit 99% of reported rapes.

How are you part of rape culture? Well, I hate to say it, but it’s because you’re a man.

Zaron Burnett III
public domain image

The essay goes on to explain it all in great detail. I’m bringing it to every man (and woman) I know because it is so important and educational. It is guaranteed to make you more of man and more of a human as soon as you finish reading it.

in News of Note / Op-Ed / Public Information / Sex Education / Uncategorized by Alison Gardner 02 Jun 2014 0 comments

The Erotic Vitalizes Life

Here is another excerpt from our upcoming book, The Unseen Journey (working title), all about the connection between the erotic and spirituality. A first step is to start you thinking analytically about sex, reproduction, and the erotic senses so you can understand their distinct differences. We are still editing the final manuscript so all comments are welcomed.

Flickr
Creative Commons

Sex is most definitely not about penis-vagina copulation, although that is the one expression of sex everyone learns about and most people will practice, thinking that there are no alternatives. In fact, penis-vagina copulation is not really about sex at all—it is about reproduction. It seems that evolution has assured reproduction by embedding the supporting organs and activities within the vital erotic functions of the human pelvic systems. But it is mistaken to believe that the reproductive function is the only factor dictating the emergence of compelling erotic satisfaction.

In reality, the erotic senses are where the story should properly begin. All universe creatures are endowed with erotic senses; however, only physical biohosts actually reproduce. The erotic senses are essential to vitalizing life in all forms, whether any reproductive capability exists at all. And there are a great many possible and gratifying forms of erotic stimulation (individual or group) that provide no pathway to reproduction and are vitally valuable in and of themselves when properly understood and employed.

Considered are all levels of the erotic senses, not just ecstatic orgasm, but all happiness and all pleasure. That warm feeling you get when someone lays that hand upon your arm or back to comfort you or to show admiration and friendship is pleasure from the very same senses.
© VenusPlusX, 2013. All rights reserved.

Already available now as a companion reference, A Course in Immortality (and in Spanish, Un Curso En Inmortalidad), which will be published as an included Appendix in the new book.

in Public Information / Sex Education / The Unseen Journey (working title) / Transhuman Erotic Freedom by Alison Gardner 29 May 2014 0 comments

Woefully bad news for Mothers and Children

Save the Children Report Ranks Best and Worst Places to Be a Mother: U.S. Drops to 31st . . .

US Coast Guard/Wikimedia Commons

If you read this report, can you not be radicalized by its findings?

Countries faring the worst were those affected by humanitarian crises . . Worldwide, more than half of all maternal and child deaths occur in areas made more fragile by conflict and disasters.

If you are an American, can you not be saddened and embarrassed that in just 15 years the U.S. has fallen from the top five in women’s health to 31st?

Since 2000, the risk that a 15-year-old girl will die during her lifetime from a maternal cause has increased by 50 percent in America . . .

A coinciding study on the same subject, Global, regional, and national levels and causes of maternal mortality during 1990-2013 . . . (The Lancet, 2 May 2014), ranks the U.S. even lower, 60th, and reveals similar sad statistics for the U.S. For example, African-American mothers are more than 3 times as likely to die as a result of pregnancy and childbirth than their white counterparts.

If you care about the future of the world, can you not get up off your couch and do something about bringing about change, even if its only for your own community?

But what of an underlying question:

WHY is women’s healthcare in this country in retrograde?

Citing the study reported in The Lancet, Robert Reich, political economist and former Labor Secretary in the Clinton Administration, again shows us why he has quickly become our progressive guru in chief. His talent is awakening average people of the venality of the right-wing agenda, and he’s done so again with his column on women’s health, today, How the right wing is killing women.

But this tragic trend is also a clear matter of public choice.

Many of these high-poverty states are among the twenty-one that have so far refused to expand Medicaid, even though the federal government will cover 100 percent of the cost for the first three years and at least 90 percent thereafter.

So as the sputtering economy casts more and more women into near poverty, they can’t get the health care they need.

Several of these same states have also cut family planning, restricted abortions, and shuttered women’s health clinics.

Right-wing ideology is trumping the health needs of millions of Americans.

Let’s be perfectly clear: These policies are literally killing women.

Global women’s health is the mother of causes because so much of our civilization’s future depends on women’s wellbeing, and because of its direct ties to human rights. The true hallmark of any advanced civilization is how justifiably well women are accommodated in society’s rules, policies, and laws.

A final caveat: Consider, the battleground for equality rights begins and ends with women. There are no rights coming to Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender people as long as the rights of women are under attack. There is zero separation of women’s issues and LGBT issues, they are one in the same, a fact often overlooked by LGBT people themselves.

in Global Sexual Freedom Watch / Key Issues / News of Note / Op-Ed / Public Information / Sex Education by Alison Gardner 13 May 2014 0 comments

Yes, it’s true, anti-LGBT laws kill

Quantifying the Effects of Homophobia

Providing the quantifiable effects of homophobia will allow policy makers, economists, and global leaders to better understand that anti-gay laws ultimately do more harm than good, to LGBT people and the population at large.

–Dominic Bocci for The Advocate

Society must be kept accountable for the facts that an LGBT youth is 40% more likely to commit suicide than her straight counterpart. Homelessness, lack of health care access, substance abuse, and employment discrimination are all higher among LGBT people.

Another new study, this time from Social Science and Medicine, has confirmed earlier data that . . .suicide, homicide, and cardiovascular disease are substantially elevated among sexual minorities in high-prejudice communities. As these studies become quite visible and accepted, they provide activists with perhaps more convincing arguments against discrimination, such as economics and public health, that may reach a larger audience of potential allies.

The community of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) people have long focused on the moral argument against discrimination, and now can and should add these other dimensions that prove anti-LGBT laws hurt everyone.

in News of Note / Op-Ed / Public Information / Sex Education by Alison Gardner 05 May 2014 0 comments

Preventing Teens from Preventing Pregnancy: “Plan B” not an Option for Teens PART II

“As many as 11% of U.S. women ages 15-44 who have ever had sexual intercourse have used a “morning after” pill at least once, or 5.8 million women. Half say they used it because they feared their birth control method may have failed, and the rest say they had unprotected sex.”

–First Federal Report on Emergency Contraception

The report also found that only 14% of sexually experienced females ages 15–19 had ever used emergency contraception, compared to 23% of women ages 20-24 and 16% of women ages 25–29. Moreover, the report showed that emergency contraception was most common among women 20-24, the never married, Hispanic and white women, and the college-educated.

So what’s with this fear that if the morning-after pill was available over-the-counter for girls under the age of 17 without prescription, that there would be a flood of 10 and 11 year olds buying it along with “bubble gum or batteries?” In my opinion, if they are old enough to have sex and have babies, they are old enough to have access to reproductive services, contraception, and especially the information provided by comprehensive sex education that is necessary for them to make healthy, responsible decisions about their sexuality and behaviors.

Federal Judge Edward R. Korman of the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of New York seems to agree with me. In April (2013), Korman’s ruling in Tummino v. Hamburg reversed a prior decision by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and Health and Human Services (HHS). In 1999, Plan B became the first emergency contraceptive approved for use by prescription. In 2006, the FDA approved it as an over-the counter drug for women over the age of 18, while requiring a prescription for minors and subsequently allowed 17-year-olds to obtain the drug without a prescription, which was overturned by the HSS in 2011 (see previous article).

Magazine cover depicting headlines for MTV’s “Teen Mom” series, demonstrating how American society exploits the struggles of teen mothers for humor and profit. The media should be trying to reinforce teen’s sexual and reproductive rights, including access to reproductive services and comprehensive sex education, not mocking the experiences of teen mothers in a sitcom reality television show.

Many have argued that the controversy over emergency contraception is based in politics, not science, where it should be. Nonetheless, this ruling has sparked hope in many, including Nancy Northup, the president and CEO of the Center for Reproductive Rights, which filed the lawsuit against the FDA and HSS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius: “This landmark court decision has struck a huge blow to the deep-seated discrimination that has for too long denied women access to a full range of safe and effective birth control methods. Women all over the country will no longer face arbitrary delays and barriers just to get emergency contraception.”

Now we who support the sexual rights of youth and access to comprehensive reproductive services must wait to see what unfolds next, as the Justice Department reacted to the ruling by stating, “The Department of Justice is reviewing the appellate options and expects to act promptly,” according to spokeswoman Allison Price.

For more, see Part 1.

Creative Commons Image Provided by: Flickr

in News of Note / Public Information / Sex Education by Alifa Watkins 05 May 2014 0 comments

Preventing Teens from Preventing Pregnancy: “Plan B” not an Option for Teens PART I

In 2011, the secretary of health and human services’ banned over-the-counter sales of emergency birth control to girls under age 17… in 2013, a federal judge challenged this decision.

When Kathleen Sebelius, former health secretary of President Obama, blocked the sale of emergency birth control (commonly referred as the “morning after pill” or by its name bran of “Plan B”) to girls under the age of 17, President Obama endorsed her decision, saying that “the reason Kathleen made this decision was she could not be confident that a 10-year-old or an 11-year-old going into a drugstore should be able – along with bubble gum or batteries – be able to buy a medication that potentially, if not used properly, could end up having an adverse effect.”

However, not everyone believes that Plan B will produce “adverse effects” on young girls.

Ted Miller, spokesman for Naral Pro-Choice America, and others in women’s groups argued that science supported the use of such medication for young girls: “Teva, the pill’s maker, commissioned two large studies in adolescents to satisfy government concerns about selling freely to them.” This did not satisfy Ms. Sebelius, who said in her reject that neither study included 11-year-olds. Even so, according to Dr. Phillip Stubblefield, a contraceptive expert from Boston University School of Medicine, there is no reason to believe that the morning-after pill would react any differently than older girls.

A huge part of the controversy of emergency contraception is that it is commonly confused with the abortion pill, when in fact, emergency contraception only prevents pregnancy, not terminates it.

But you tell me, what would you rather have: a pregnant 10 or 11-year-old, or a 10 or 11-year-old buying Plan B?

Research has demonstrated how teen pregnancy and childbearing negatively affects the parents and society, including substantial social and economic costs. In 2008, teen pregnancy and childbirth accounted for nearly $11 billion per year in costs to U.S. taxpayers for increased health care and foster care, increased incarceration rates among children of teen parents, and lost tax revenue because of lower educational attainment and income among teen mothers. Moreover, only about 50% of teen mothers receive a high school diploma by 22 years of age, versus approximately 90% of women who had not given birth during adolescence.

Life isn’t easy for the children of teen parents either: compared to children born to older mothers, children born to teen moms are likely to drop out of high school, live in poverty, become teen parents, use Medicaid and CHIP, experience abuse/neglect, enter the foster care system, end up in prisons, and be raised in single parent families. Unfortunately as well, the children of teenage mothers are more likely to have more health problems and face unemployment as a young adult. Additionally, these children have lower scores on measures of kindergarten readiness and lower vocabulary, math, and reading scores. In 2011 alone, almost 330,000 babies were born to teen girls between the ages of 15 and 19.

To clarify, Plan B is an emergency contraception to be taken within 72 hours after unprotected intercourse to prevent pregnancy. Plan B is NOT to be confused with RU-486, the abortion drug. So if you ask me, I’d rather have emergency birth control available to teens who desperately need it than more disadvantaged teen parents and children. And apparently, so does a federal judge. Check out Part 2 for the rest of this article.

Creative Commons Image Provided by: Shannon Kringen
Edited by: Alifa Watkins

in News of Note / Public Information / Sex Education by Alifa Watkins 05 May 2014 0 comments

Depending on More than Faith: Comprehensive Sex Ed in Church

Although social conservatives have dominated discourse around religion and sexuality, it turns out that millions of religious and spiritual youth and adults believe that faith, and a positive approach to healthy sexuality, are not mutually exclusive.

I never thought that I would see that day where I would come across an article discussing how Churches across the nation are moving away from the “Abstinence-only” approach to Comprehensive Sex Education (CSE). In my mind, as with the minds of many Americans, comprehensive sex education and religion seemed to be at odds, especially when it came to same-sex sexuality. So when I read that the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) published a faith-based comprehensive sex ed curriculum in 2006, AND affirms human sexuality, including the expressions of sexuality that occur within same-sex relationships, as a gift from God, my mind nearly exploded. Moreover, the United Methodist Church passed an official resolution in 2010 to encourage congregations to take up the issue of sex education.

But this revelation is about (God) damn time!

For too long, social conservatives have used religion to keep comprehensive sex education out of the classroom. They especially have a beef with condoms. They have spent more than one billion in public funding within the U.S. to promote abstinence-only-until-marriage programs that distort the health benefits of condoms. They also argued at international conferences that promoting condom use encourages teens to have sex, despite overwhelming research to the contrary: educating youth about condoms does not promote sexual activity. In fact, research indicates that young people who are educated about the health benefits of condoms are more likely than other young people to use condoms when they eventually initiate sex.

So I commend the work of religious leaders who are moving away from this restrictive, scientifically invalid viewpoint. While some religious leaders and institutions, like the Catholic Church in New York City, continue to fight against comprehensive sex education in schools and remind us how there should be a separation between Church and State (because we all know that is NOT the reality in the U.S.), at least others are tackling the issues on Church ground, such as the First United Methodist Church in Madison, WI, who will introduce a comprehensive sexual education program, “Our Whole Lives,” for the first time this year. Not only will discussing human sexuality in a positive light foster a new, cooperative relationship between faith and sexuality, but also will encourage more teens to talk to their parents and Church leaders about their issues and concerns, instead of sometimes relying on inaccurate sources or porn. There will always be barriers to comprehensive sex education to overcome, but at least this is another step towards victory in the fight for youth sexual rights.

in Sex Education by Alifa Watkins 24 Apr 2014 0 comments

The Pen Versus the Sword: Sex Education Books and Death Threats in Saudi Arabia

47% of fathers in Saudi Arabia find it difficult to answer their children
s questions related to sex and about 87% find it embarrassing to answer the questions, and, as a result, they tend to ignore them.

Professor Amal Mohammed Banouna

In her recent research study of the position of parents and teachers on offering early sex education to children between 3 and 8 years of age, Professor Amal Mohammed Banouna of Umm al-Qura University in Mecca found that the curiosity of students about sexuality embarrassed many parents and elders in the conservative kingdom. Despite this blush, Banouna found that more than 90% of parents and teachers support the introduction of sex education in public schools. Also, Banouna recommended that both teachers AND parents should be given training on how to deal with their children’s curiosity, especially when it comes to matters of sexuality. Another older study in 2010 showed that 43% of parents were reluctant to share sexual health information with their children themselves; yet, almost 90% said they were concerned their children may be sexually harassed or abused.

Mohammad Al-Sheddi, a member of the Shoura Council and the Human Rights Commission, believes that children have a right to information that would protect them, stating, The Shoura recently approved a protocol to protect children from being exploited for pornography. Children should be equipped with enough information that would allow them to differentiate between right and wrong, and detect whether they are being used or lured into a situation in which they may be abused.

Also in 2010, Dr. Wedad Lootah, an Emirati social worker and marriage counselor who wrote a bestselling book on sex education, said that she planned to write a series of three books on the subject for kindergarten, junior school and high school pupils. She outlined her plans saying, First there will be a picture book for kindergarten that will grab their interest, and then for the bigger ones, grades one to six, there will be Islamic teachings in simple language. Then for the higher grades who already know everything, there will be the dangers and the negative effects: what is right and what is wrong. However, I was unable to find any recent stories about the potential books beyond that fact she received many death threats from fundamentalists.

Dr. Lootah, who wears a full-length black niqag, is the only female counselor at the Family Court of Dubai, where she counsels several Arabs, including Emiratis at her Dubai Healthcare City clinic, and teaches them how to have a healthy physical relationship.

So if Saudi youth aren’t getting the necessary information to protect themselves and be sexually healthy from their schools or their parents, where are they getting it from?
The answer is through trial and error, books, and the Internet according to female college students in a discussion about sex education in the Kingdom. These women also reported feeling that they did not have a safe place or safe person where they could comfortably go and ask such questions. Moreover, women’s relationship to sexuality and sexual health in Saudi Arabia needs drastic improvements. According to a study on women’s sexual health, female participants reported experiencing more difficulties in talking about sexual matters generally, and specifically those that related to sexual intercourse. They also delayed seeking sexual health care as a result of the influence of Saudi social norms around women’s sexuality. Plus, health care professionals tended to avoid initiating discussions about sexual matters in their clinical practices to respect the cultural norms and avoid offending the patient.
Hopefully, with the projected introduction of sex education in schools, Saudi Arabian youth and women can start receiving the information they need to maintain their sexual health. Nonetheless, as Banouna pointed out, no matter how embarrassing or taboo, parents, teachers, school administrations, and health care professionals should ALL be involved in educating youth about sexuality and sexual health or else they will not know how to take care of or protect their bodies and make responsible choices.

Creative Commons Image Provided by: Flickr FR
Creative Commons Image Edited by: Alifa Watkins
Creative Commons Image Provided by: Flickr

in Sex Education by Alifa Watkins 22 Apr 2014 0 comments

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