Tiye

The Sexual Freedom Project: Disconnect

How did where you were raised affect what you were taught about sex, and the kinds of conversations you had about sex? What role did religion play in what you were taught or what you talked about? How have you overcome any negative ideas about sex — or even just ignorance about sex? Who should have the ultimate responsibility to ensure that young people receive an education in sexual matters that may affect their relationships and their health?

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Video by Tiye Massey.

TRANSCRIPT by David Kreps

So like my family is very traditional. They’re Muslim and they’re South Asian. They grew up in Pakistan and came here in 1980. And they never talked to us about sex because they they only spoke to us about marriage, and said that you, when you reach a certain age, you’ll get married, and then you’ll have kids. So sex was never really spoken about, it was more like they were more concerned like about the type of relationship that I would have. I mean there’s a real disconnect between reality and what my parents taught me, and what my parents taught my siblings and my brother. I remember once I was trying to explain to my little brother what a period is. And my aunt, my mom’s sister, got really upset and she said that, ‘That’s just because you’re American, that you’re, that you’re talking to him about that.’ I’m like no, I think I think he should know about it. I think he should know that this is what many people experience. And it does directly impact him because he lives with four women.


The Sexual Freedom Project: Room for Change

Do you agree that gender roles define or control our personal behavior? limit our freedoms, opportunities, and ability to be ourselves? Is location, where you are in the world, the greatest indicator? What will be the results of raising children today with more relaxed ideas about gender? Do you foresee a future in which gender gradually disappears?

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Video by Tiye Massey.

TRANSCRIPT by David Kreps.

Um, oh, I don’t know actually . . . our gender… that’s a difficult one. I think it’s definite qualities that lead to, that lend themselves to a different gender, but I don’t think it’s this is clear-cut. It’s not black and white. You know, I grew up with all boys, so  even though I’m very much female, I still have a few male qualities, and I don’t think gender, I don’t know . . . I get kind of not annoyed, but I get kind of worried at the fact that everything is based on that gender specification, as opposed to just being human and being allowed to be who you are and whatnot. I think there’s definitely, obviously, there is something to be said about genders and how do they have their specific traits, but just to concrete them as that and not have any room for change, I think as the world changes, it’s just a bit silly, really. It’s definitely religion, I think it’s just we’re in a generation in the moment where it’s not been long enough out there in the open for people to realize that’s a thing, you know. When something’s been concreted for so many generations and since relationships in humans began, that males were males and females and were females, if you think about it, instead of being the last couple of generations that it’s sort of been coming out in the open, that there are, there is room for difference. There is room for people being who they are. And there is, there is biological reasons why people are who they are, for every facet of everything. I think it’s just we’re just too soon into it with only the second generation of [us] having that out there. So I think religion plays a lot, a big part of it. Your family upbringing plays a big part of it, the country you reside in plays a big part of it. I mean, even London is not as accepting as maybe here in New York. I know New York is more accepting than maybe the rest of America. So it’s just a lot of contributing factors. I think it takes a while for people to catch up with actually what’s happening in the world, if that makes sense.


 

The Sexual Freedom Project: “I AM” Justice

Thanks to theMassachusetts Transgender Political Coalition we are able to see powerful videos from its I AM: Trans People Speak project. Check the other ones out.

Justice, a trans man learned a lot about life at college, and still ponders the racism, classism, sexism,  homophobia, transphobia, and oppression all around him. His mother’s unconditional love helped form his own activism and desire for healthy communities.

What experiences in your life has radicalized you, inspired your own activism?

Let us know, okay. We’ll give you a free VenusPlusX t-shirt for taking the time to tell your own story, make your own video, write an essay or create a piece of art to express your stor

The Sexual Freedom Project: Telling my dad that I am gay-LIVE

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell takes effect this week, so we are sharing this viral video that’s reached TV and over 3 million people on YouTube. An active service member calls his Dad in Alabama from where he’s stationed in Germany to tell him he’s gay, and his father responded in a way that’s been very moving.

What’s your coming out story? And what were the reactions of your families and friends? Every coming out is its own revolutionary act, and some people say they come out to a further degree on a daily basis.

Are you in the military now and seeing the effects of DADT repeal?

What are the factors that make coming out easy or hard?

Make your voice heard. Make a comment, or for a free VenusPlusX t-shirt celebrating sexual freedom, send us your own video, or send us a poem or essay or work of art. free

 

The Sexual Freedom Project: Criticizing Moves Like That

(También en Español)

BREAKING NEWS? Abstinence-only education is a failure and causes huge problems. Every society suffers without health and sex education, including the safety of contraceptives.

We also have to cope with our “politicians” often counter-productive actions.

When do you think sex education should begin for children? what age? at home or from friends or at school? (Only after marriage??)

How can sex education and age of consent vary so widely state to state? where the trail of abstinence only sex ed leaves a trail of higher unwanted pregnancies at earlier and earlier ages?

What’s your experience holding elected and appointed accountable? Should we have a national bill of rights that provides for the mandatory health and sex education of all minors?

Send us your thoughts, comment, make your own video or write a short essay, or send us your visual ideas that express the ideals of sexual freedom, and we’ll thank you with a free VenusPlusX t-shirt .

Video by Tiye Massey.

TRANSCRIPT by David Kreps

So you take abstinence-only education in the United States. That is a huge problem for sexual freedom in this country. I feel that we can’t really be free sexually if we’re not informed, and abstinence-only education has been demonstrated not to be effective. All the research indicates that it’s not going to prevent people from having sex and… So they’re going to be just as likely to have sex and when they are, they’re not going to be as apt or as knowledgeable about contraception and all the relevant information. So, for example, Hillary Clinton came out a couple years ago, I want to say  2008? She said, “Abstinence-only education doesn’t work, we know that it doesn’t,” and then she pours a few more million dollars into these programs and you’re just like “What??” (laughs) So yeah, we should be criticizing moves like that, and then we’ll get to where we want to be with sexual freedom.


The Sexual Freedom Project: Gender Doesn’t Exist

(También en Español)

You might be surprised by Mariana when she talks about her Catholic father’s approach to her sexuality and sex education, and how the result has been that she is generally more responsible than her peers. You will agree how cool it has been for her to receive her Dad’s trust and guidance in place of absolutes or prohibitions. She also recalls being 8 years old and thinking she wanted to be a boy, just because life seemed so much easier, but as an adult those gender differences have practically faded?

Parent or child, what do you think are the best ways young people can be guided. Does gender still exist for you? Can you imaging a gender-free future?

Send us your thoughts — and we’ll give you a t-shirt for sharing them with us! A short video, an essay or a poem, or even an image or original artwork you think sends the right message.

Video by Tiye Massey.

TRANSCRIPT by David Kreps

We’re Catholic, but my dad, he’s really open-minded. Since I [was] like sixteen, he told me, “You know Mariana? You have to… If you have sex, please wear a condom. You can do whatever you want, but use it.” So, (laughs) that’s why I’m so ‘responsible’ in some ways, and I didn’t get pregnant like a lot of my friends did. It’s cool, it’s cool to have this type of education. They don’t prohibit…

I have to say, since I [was] like eight years old,  I wanted to be a guy, to be honest. Because for me it was so much easier, you know, like to be a guy than a girl. But then, you know, nowadays, you can be, you can do a lot of things as guys do, and also, guys do a lot of things that girls do. So for me, I don’t know, gender doesn’t exist that much anymore.

The Sexual Freedom Project: A Personal Awakening

David Castillo writing for Bilerico talks about his realization that he was playing a part in repressing his own sexual freedom. It’s true, self-discovery never ends, there is always something new and wonderful on the horizon.

Freeing Myself from Sexual Regression 

Those moments when we realize that we are always learning are the most humbling and most important for me.

I’ve been out of the closet since I was 22 and it’s safe to say that I’m very secure in my identity and very open-minded about sexuality, which I have explored ad nauseum. I have always carried this open-mindedness as a badge of honor given the often sex-negative society we live in today. Imagine my surprise this past weekend when I discovered a new side of my sexual awareness I never knew existed. I had a sexual awakening.

Fittingly, my sexual awakening happened in the Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend exhibit hall, which was on Capitol Hill and within a stone’s throw from the U.S. Capitol. I had never been before so I was excited about what was in store for me, but I certainly didn’t think I was going to tap into an unexplored area of my sexuality. To be sure, there was a lot to take in, and I saw many things, (the most intriguing for me was the leather cocoons) which I had only ever seen online.

While casually strolling through the many rooms in the exhibit hall, I found myself captivated with all the live demonstrations going on, especially the wrestling demonstration. Picture two attractive and fit men, both in singlets and both quite obviously aroused, wrestling for passersby as a crowd begins to form. It was certainly a spectacle. Of course, grabbing attention is the point of any expo, but I was completely turned on and it wasn’t only because of the demonstration itself, but because I was also engaging in voyeurism. And, I wanted to do more of it.